Slumber

I've always struggled sleeping. I've gotten used to it, and have had a few ways to get around it.

When I was younger, maybe way back college, I discovered for myself a technique to put myself to slumber (which I later on found out on tv or from a friend, I can't recall, that it's the same practice that could be done/ he does). I close my eyes, and somewhere in the darkness there'll be a tiny white speck that'd be moving around. Sometimes, there'd be a lot of 'em, but i blink reversely until i form just one bright speck. I focus on catching that spark and attempt to hold it in one place, ideally at the center, as if I were looking straight if my eyes were open, and then I stare at it until I feel calmer and I won't notice that I'd already dozed off. i figured it was effective and it had been a great help putting me thru the night or day, whatever my sleeping schedule was....it worked everytime. It worked for a long time.

Somehow, I had eventually let go of this practice. I can't remember when I'd stopped, as I continued to habitually form other, perhaps more effective ways of starting the sleep (or still working around it).

So far, I have not found a better way.

nirvana 33

cheers to things that start and end.

Morning 2010

It simply felt like it was just another year, another day.

2010. New Year. It's always a perfect mark to either start something (or start it all over), have a clean slate. I hate to flip into a channel where a good movie's halfway done. It may have just begun, but a critical detail to fully appreciating the film was given on its first 5 seconds, and you missed it. On the 8th hour and 40th minute into this new year, I am beginning another chapter.

So many things have happened in the last year that's just passed. It was so full that I thought it might even have been TOO full. It's a time that I really "tried" counting blessings and exerted to appreciate them. It's usually and relatively effortless. but 2009..

With not being sure what to look forward to exactly, though there are plans that are not as flat as it should be, the hope that things go for the best is sincerely at heart. I just hope that my fickle-mindedness does not interfere significantly to what I need to do and what I have to be.

In an effort to have a trail to follow for now, I have decided to blog about a favorite HBO series that I'm starting all over, and so far, the 1 of 2 series I have enjoyed watching and finished: "Six Feet Under". While it seems a little too morbid a theme, it practically tackles life and how important to live it, be in it, and savor its sweetness, bitterness, and however else it may taste to our souls' tongue.

With its dysfunctional characters as how they'd call the cast, it brings to my demented LIFE a rollercoaster ride of emotions and persona that I have incorporated in my life and may still be constantly patronizing, only to possibly determine how to make it right.

We all die. Whether we like it or not. Might as well deal with it.